So we all have our lofty plans, and our reasons, excuses, and causations of why those lofty plans fall flat.
There were the external reasons, like pressures of your 9 to 5 office job getting in the way of your dreams; other time-consuming obligations involving third parties; or your former life partner declaring that your “Ditty-A-Day” concept makes you an attention wh*re — as opposed to just being an artist that’s trying to adhere to a self-made promise, an attempt to gain structure. As in, “yeah sure, this is about me developing internally, not me looking for mad props externally…”
But let’s not drag on about that situation and move onward and upward, shall we? Hmmm?
Then of course there’s the more intense and personal internal reasons. Reasons such as placing greater import on life’s tasks like being dad & doing the chores (duty before pleasure); (formerly) being a boyfriend; movie watching; %$@& Facebook; purposefully giving your time to others; reading too much; motorcycling; sloth; and finally, joining a gym. Or how about, the fear that I’ll create nothing but garbage? The words of that self-critic that whispers in your ear at the worst possible time, your worst enemy and best friend. Man, I just hate that guy.
And finally, the fear of failure overall. Which has caused me to fail more than once in my life by just doing nothing for all the wrong reasons. The practice of shear avoidance of artistic discipline. I end up feeling like crap inside in the end by not following through on this practice, no matter how fun this discipline– hah! more like an adventure– should be.
I put too much pressure on myself for this until now. As of today, the self-critic is on sabbatical to discover what his new role shall be in the near future.
So I’ve adjusted this blog to be “Ditty-A-Week.” That’s reasonable and realistic. Not to mention, I can feel accomplished by posting stuff that’s more polished. AND it gives me time to take that bike ride to the gym, keep up in social justice community band I’m in & feel great about, go to summertime events on the weekends, and enjoy that occasional Guinness out & about with the old friends I thought I’d lost years ago.
Oh, yeah, and write songs for my gig at Electro-Music 2012, happening a few weeks from this post. You know, the songs that aren’t written yet, because I’ve been more concerned about the seminar I’m presenting on “Building a Software Looper” as well as the visual content of my set. All I’m gonna say about the visuals is: Bambi, Godzilla, a dancing set of pixels, space scenes and jiggly camera shots. Somehow being entertaining & pleasant.
On to the music. No Pressure.